Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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