I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize