Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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