I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize