I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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