YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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