I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
