I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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