Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
