New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
