whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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