Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
