I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
