Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
two words...techno handjob
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
