i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
