You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm just crazy horny about you
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
