And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
