I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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