out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
