ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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