I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so let's talk penis.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
