I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
