im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
NoShamevember. You game?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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