Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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