There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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