I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
