fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
