my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
