9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
