i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
