Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
