how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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