Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
