I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
