i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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