You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My breath smells like gin and sadness
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
