Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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