i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
