Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
