haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
