Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
