You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It's blow job season.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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