Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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