Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
