I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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