third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
