Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
