I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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