ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
This girl is more easily done than said...
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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