it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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